The Eighth Page

Top Ten Ways to Predict Head of School Day

10. Assume it is “Tomorrow. For sure tomorrow.” every Monday and Wednesday. 9. You know what they say about assuming. 8. Don’t do your work and just hope. Life isn’t cruel…right? 7. Look at the seventh word of each of Mrs. Chase’s emails. There lies the answer. 6. Become omniscent. 5. Spend from 5 to 8 p.m. every night of winter term in Lower Right, so you’ll at least be the first to know. 4. Waterboard somone until they give you the answer you want. 3. Be Yuto. You’ll know. 2. Stalk Mrs. Chase. 1. Write for Features, where every day is Head of School Day.