The Eighth Page

The Big Event: Smith House Wildlife Exhibit

By SAM LESSARD Last week, the school decided to surprise the students of Smith House, giving them a surprise “Wildlife Exhibit” right in their dorm! The administration bought out a local petting zoo and filled the dorm with dozens of furry friends. Surrounded by the luscious Rafferty Field and towering oak trees, there could not have been a better suited place for this exhibit. “I didn’t realize that part of my $40,000 tuition was an opportunity to experience the wild firsthand. I really owe it to the school for going out of their way to brighten up my morning.” said Elizabeth Paul ’12, amazed after recent experiences living at the newly dubbed Smith House Nature and Wildlife Facility. Kiki Somers ’12 reacted more cynically. “If I wanted to live in a zoo, I would live in a zoo,” she said. Irreplaceable memories are made every day at the Smith House Nature and Wildlife Exhibit. Stacia Vladmirova ’11 exclaimed, “I caught one of them! He lives in my closet, and I take him for walks on a leash. His name is Fluffy! The bi-weekly rabies shots are soooo worth it. Just look at his face!” Due to the school’s strict policy of not allowing pets in student rooms, Fluffy will be put down next Monday. The administration encourages students to enjoy the exhibit firsthand. The creatures should remain docile in the presence of visitors, as long as they do not attempt to feed, taunt, stare at them or place fingers within a five foot radius of them. Clearly everyone is super psyched about the exhibit, and you should be too! In just one icy, out of the way hike you can get in on the action and see what all the rave is about!