The Eighth Page

Intramural Basketball Preview: A Player to Watch

Following last year’s steroid scandal and legendary final game with the outrageously high score of 35-23, many say players this year will have a hard time topping last year’s season. This year’s record-breaking number of sign-ups, however, is looking quite promising. One stud to watch this year is Jobin Cityslicka, an Upper from Manchester, Massachusetts, who expressed his excitement to get out on the courts. When asked about his qualifications, Jobin responded, “Well, I played a little in elementary school. Mostly because my dad made me. But I was third or fourth best on my team.” Unfortunately, Jobin was forced to end his bright future in middle school due to asthsma and general unathleticism. “I was going to do yoga, but it was filled. I noticed there were some cute girls signed up for Intramural BBall when perusing the sheet in the gym office, and my passion for basketball was reignited. Basketball shoes make me look tall, so that’s a plus.” Jobin says he is already training. He plans to carboload every day and has invested in a pair of “toning” shoes to wear during the day. His motivation is inspirational to us all.