The Evil Photographer Costume: Camera that costs more than a car. Evil Power: The ability to take a person’s photo at the worst possible moment. Weaknesses: Lens flare, hands-covering faces, restraining orders, attractive people. Secret Layer: Behind that tree you’re about to pick your nose in front of. Day in the life: The Evil Photographer enjoys long walks on the beach and surprising people in their cars, as well as popping out of wedding cakes and photographing the horrified bride and groom. After a long day of evil photographing, he enjoys uploading photos to the Internet and emailing the friends and families of his victims. Heat Freak Primary Power: He can control heat, making it either uncomfortably hot or freezing cold, just to bug you. Secondary Powers: Impervious to heat and cold. Way to recognize: If you have consistently been in a comfortable room, and suddenly it gets so hot you start sweating profusely, then you may be victim to Heat Freak. Also, if you are sitting in a warm room and suddenly you need to put on a full winter jacket and wrap up in a blanket, you may be victim. Worst Attack: He once made an unsuspecting man so cold that he got hypothermia, and then proceeded to heat him up until he was dehydrated. Weakness: Heat Freak has an unnatural obsession with house cats, and is easily distracted by them. If used right, you can save yourself by keeping a cat as a pet. Ways to avoid: There is no true way to escape the wrath of Heat Freak. A combination of Under Armor and Shaq’s Icy Hot Patch can help though. Outfit: This is where Heat Freak is deceiving; he wears no cape, and dresses like an average person. This makes him hard to spot, especially in crowded places, so be prepared when outside the confines of your home. The Toilet Paper Stealer (TTPS) Evil deed: Stealing all the toilet paper from every stall, leaving you in a really, really awkward position. Bio: TTPS discovered his innate abilities soon after he graduated middle school. His revelation made him social pariah of mythical lore during his high school years. A menace in the workplace, his coworkers have described him as “the guy who has single-handedly quadrupled my clothing bill,” “a combination of sadism and rye humor, but mostly sadism,” and “as soon as this dries, I’ll kick his ass.” TTPS enjoys music, spending time with his wife and kids, and striking unsuspecting victims at gas stations. Amneseo Power: He can read minds, and no he isn’t bulimic Derek Zoolander. Along with his gift at hearing your most embarrassing thoughts like, “I wish my first cousin wasn’t blood related” or “I really wish my hair looked like Justin Bieber’s,” Amneseo can also make you forget very basic things. “Hello Mr. Ericson. I know you don’t know me yet, but I would like to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage. My name is…um…”. Or maybe even “Hello Mr. Ericson. I’m here to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage. I never knew what true love was until I met… was it Mary? Marina?” Amneseo strikes again! Weaknesses: Amneseo is only able to access and manipulate the minds of average minded people. He is unable to have any affect on geniuses or really really dumb people. Just hope you’re one of the two. Don’t lie, you’re probably the latter.
