The Eighth Page

Bones + Sonar = One Awesome Hero

A new superhero, beloved by men, women, and children alike, is making headlines around the world: Bonar Man. One young woman had nothing but lofty praise for Bonar Man, saying, “Every time he’s finished busting crime, I’m completely satisfied.” A seemingly ordinary resident of the Tri-State Area, Bonar Man’s superpower is his ability to use his bones for sound propagation and acoustic location, also known as sonar. While scientists unlocked the secret of sonar in only the last century, Bonar Man was born with an innate talent, similar to a bat. Speaking of his childhood revelation, Bonar Man said, “I think I always knew there was something different about me, but it wasn’t until an experience with my first grade teacher that I truly discovered my superpower.” Neither Bonar Man nor his first grade teacher would elaborate further. Ambiguous stories aside, Bonar Man soon became a local legend as he dominated games of hide and go seek. One mother of a childhood friend remarked, “I knew him back when he was Bonar Boy—before he became Bonar Man. What always struck me was his maturity. He really knew how to use his superpower well.” Again, the subject refused to elaborate further. At the request of his closest friends, Bonar Man dropped out of college in order to intensify his efforts as a combater of evil and preserver of justice. Always the responsible altruist, he has made it a policy that he does all his work pro bono. Despite the recent publicity he has garnered, he has remained the same humble philanthropist. Wherever there is trouble, you can expect Bonar Man to pop up and stick it to evil… and your daughter… and your mother. -Robert Palmer