When I arrived at ___________’s (sexy name of person of opposite gender) house, I was delighted to see that he/she was looking fine as a(n) _________(place). His/her dad gave me this long talk about how I shouldn’t put my _______(noun) anywhere near his daughter’s/son’s __________(body part). He didn’t have to worry though, because this guy/girl was a last minute thing. My original date ran off to _________(African country) to “figure things out.” We soon left and drove to campus to meet our friends and the buses. My friend _______(name of person of same gender) wore a ___________(flamboyantly gay article of clothing). I was all like, “what the ______(four-letter expletive)!” He told me how his date already gave him a __________(body part) job on the walk to the buses and how _____________(synonym for awesome) it was. The bus ride was a bit __________(negative adjective), even though my friend had brought some of the best _________(narcotic) the town of Andover has to offer. My date was very quiet the entire ride over. I asked her why she was so _________ (emotion). She said it was because her ______ (type of pet) refused to _________(verb) her the night before. After getting off the bus and going inside, I almost ________(past tense verb) my pants because of how terrible the set up was. There was a middle-aged DJ playing ________(Paula Abdul/Kenny Loggins song) and a bowl of punch in the middle of the room, which was some shade of ________(ugly color) I never knew existed let alone made for good punch. I didn’t feel like dancing, mostly because my date smelled kind of like a(n) _________(animal) after having bathed in _______(excreted substance and/or the Hudson River). The only words my date said to me the entire night were, “Have you ever tried to _______(verb) so much that you no longer have the sense of ________(one of the five senses)? Haha, me neither.” Even though my date lacked mental stability, I wasn’t going to let anything keep me from having a good time. I got _______(hyphy/krunk/super crazy) on the dance floor for an hour until I could no longer tell the difference between songs by ________(generic female pop star) and songs by Justin Bieber. The really strong punch did not help. My date tried to dance with me on several occasions, and every time I faked a ________(medical condition) so she would leave me alone. One time, I pretended to pass out, so my date decided to give me ______(body part) to _________(body part) until I woke up. As I’m sure you can imagine, that really did not end well. My ___________(second body part above) was never to be the same. I’d always heard about the fun prom antics, especially in the ___________(a room in a house). That’s really where the fun was. But my date was crazy, so I was afraid I would never get the chance to find out for myself. Instead, I asked ________(name) to come to the ________(same room as before) with me and ________(verb) around. She said no and __________(past-tense verb ending in -ed) me in the face. By midnight, I had partied so hard that I began to hit on _________(teacher chaperone). I used the classic lines, “Would you like to _______(verb) to the point of insanity” and “I’d like to cover you in ________(food) and make you my midnight snack.” Needless to say, _________(teacher chaperon) had to drive me to campus because I missed the buses. Boo-yah! They don’t call me Lucky _______(name beginning with L. We suggest Louie) for nothing!
