The Eighth Page

Features Presents.. Top Ten Reasons to Come to Andover

10. Snow days 9. Best eggplant in the state 8. Sexy parties in the Day Student Lockers 7. “Great Justice” 6. You’ve never really lived until you’ve made it through Upper Spring 5. The incredibly modest student body 4. Guys can wear skirts, too. More freedom for your junk! 3. Unlimited bandwith: Download all the “PDFs” you want 2. Hotter than Exeter 1. Knowledge and Goodness, biatch! . 8. Find out that you’re a father. 7. Pick a faculty member of the opposite sex. Tell them they look like the hottest thing since Parent Trap-era Lindsey Lohan. 6. Claim Super Smash Diplomatic Immunity. 5. Fight the power, man. 4. Sleep. 3. Have sixth lunch and seventh free. 2. Go to Exeter. Oh, wait… 1. Go to public school.