The Eighth Page

Features Gets Poetic: Celebrity Contributions

Tik Tok Ring Ring Wake up in the morning feeling like myself Brush my teeth make sure to floss, don’t want no cavities Use my mouthwash and put my brush back on the shelf Then I shower, get dressed and pamper myself Head downstairs to get some breakfast maybe Lucky Charms Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get some Eggo’s too I’ll sit and watch TV for an hour or so Then it’lll be time for me to go -Diddy aka P. Diddy aka Puff Daddy aka Puffy Mav-ricks, well, you know look down at scribbles on hand darn, what’s the question? -Sarah Palin ..: .. .:.. . …:..::. ::… :…: ..:.: :….. -Helen Keller I write the same songs Don’t hate, I am really rich Tik tok on the clock – Ke$ha This girl will end me All because she gave me some She was awesome, though I mourn my failure While Tiger racked up thirteen I only got one -Bill Clinton Death to the devil He will doom America Barack’s a commie -Glenn Beck Cut me slack I won nine medals Let me smoke -Michael Phelps Love sees no color Does it count if I own her? Hey, who’s gonna know? -Thomas Jefferson Stop saying dumb stuff “This is a big bleeping deal” Really Joe? Come on -Barack Obama This will change the world You will never poop the same I give you, iWipe – Steve Jobs Features knocks the pants Off of every boy and girl That metaphor sucks -Features Team And I was all like Baby, baby, baby oooooh When will my balls drop? -Justin Bieber Prostitutes, strippers, Ambien and Valium All help me get by Roses are red violets are blue I cheated on my wife and you should too -Tiger Woods