The Eighth Page

Top Ten Questions Asked at Orientation

10. Sorry, but is that a giant metallic penis sticking out of the grass? 9. Why does she pause so much during speeches? 8. 1995? So that means you turn 16…when? 7. What is the Brace Center, and where the hell is it? 6. Hey dude, what’s up with the skirt? 5. 650 bucks for books? Really? 4. So where can I hire someone to clean my room? 3. Will you still be my friend if I give you swine flu? 2. Wanna skip the cluster meeting for the series finale of King of the Hill? 1. Where the #$@! is my Blue Key?