The Eighth Page

Academic Year In Review

When your teacher says, “Send me another copy of your essay.” It actually means… “I can’t afford toilet paper.” “So who would like to start the discussion?” “I haven’t read the book either.” “I’ve had a great time with every one of you in class this year.” “They’re making me teach four sections of this stupid class as punishment for that sexual harassment suit.” “Hola chicos, como estan?” “My house is your house.” “We have a guest speaker tomorrow.” “My cousin Earl is in town and he wanted to see what I do all day.” “See me at conference tomorrow about your paper.” “That two minus you were riding has just become a one.” “Okay, class. Remember that we have a free cut tomorrow.” “My daughter is giving birth out of wedlock, I figured I’d drop by.” “I hope you all look into taking my elective senior year.” “Please. One person. For the love of God, please. I’m so lonely… “Man, it’s cold in here. Wanna close that window, little Joey?” “I’m shaking because I’m detoxing from methadone, little Joey.” “Sorry guys. I couldn’t get your tests graded this weekend.” “My boy Smitty came up from Toledo and threw a three-night kegger. Guy’s a bro.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear what you said. Could you please speak up?” “These silly youngins with their hip-hop slang words.” “Where is your book?” “Your book is in your dorm. I just enjoy calling you out.”