FROM THE DESK OF RYAN YOST: A FEATURES POEM The source of all that’s funny has always been “The Feech,” Great writers have a gift, something you cannot teach. The best become the editors, who lead the Features team, Giving hope to many people, and making children scream. Dai and Grober ran the plays, and made a couple funnies, But now they are retired, macking on some honeys. They were two of the best, and wrote for many years, Now are Billy and B.J., bringing laughter, fleas and tears. They are two awesome dudes; like pimps with no hoes, They have super strength and smell, and each 20 toes. Billy Fowkes is kind of funny and B.J. has his days, Together they make magic happen (that phrase can go both ways). They write jokes that make you laugh, and some that make you cry, Jokes that make you sick- wait, that first one is a lie. Jokes to make you pissed, and many racist things, You all should be excited to see what Features brings. Most humor will be gross, stuff your parents shouldn’t see, About certain body parts, and jokes that involve pee. Now all that doesn’t mean smart comedy is not used, but the use of porn jokes will surely be abused. Say goodbye to Lawrence Dai, and Grober’s going too, Make way for Billy and B.J., the brand new Features crew. Be ready for the greatest, and best jokes of all time: Fake news, musings, pie charts, and more Ryan Yost rhymes.