If The Phillipian Board CXXXII were N*SYNC, these people would be everyone but Justin Timberlake. People just don’t care about them. And one of them would come out of the closet in People Magazine. Advertising Director John Yang-Sammataro represents not only CXXXII’s quota for one guy with a hyphenated last name, but he is also now single-handedly responsible for those annoying ads about SAT tutoring and college application bootcamp. Business Manager Andrew Townson would have an important job, if there was more business to be done for the paper than figuring out how much to tip the delivery guy when we order pizza to the newsroom. Raya Stantcheva, the new director of Phillipian Online, will put only Features articles on the paper’s website, provided the “generous gift” we gave her doesn’t bounce. Last, and probably least, the trifecta of circulation and delivery, John “Cupcakes” McKenna, Paul Chan, and Scott Cuthell. These guys will give hours of their free periods on Fridays to put papers into our mailboxes and mail them to our parents. Without delivery and circulation, we would not be able to enjoy the Phillipian, on time, every Friday. Unfortunately, with circulation and delivery under their control, the whole “on time” part might not work out so well.