The Eighth Page


With the economy tanking, energy costs rising and the housing market up in flames, this is a very turbulent fiscal time for many Americans. Luckily, my new book, Making Money: Go Big or Go Home, will teach you everything you need to know to survive in the proverbial wilderness that is today’s global economy. Our program is clinically proven to work. According to a double blind university study, 10 percent of our customers see financial gains after purchasing this product,* much more than you’ll make using one of those other books. Our guide will teach you countless ways to make cash, and here are a couple of methods you’ll master by purchasing this product: Go to Vegas: What’s not to love about Vegas? There are resort hotels, fancy restaurants, casinos, and crime: the perfect recipe for making money. For just $2,400, you too can book a flight and hotel for your five-day Vegas experience. Hit up the casinos and spend your life savings. Try your luck at the slots, poker, craps, or roulette. Lost most of the money you have? Don’t worry. This is a good sign. With your last hundred dollars, play some high-risk slot or roulette game and pretend you don’t want to win. This offering will please the casino gods and you will win big. It happens in just about every casino movie, and it can happen to you too!** Get Rich Quick Schemes: The best way to get rich is to get rich quick! Don’t waste your time getting fancy degrees in law, finding a job and working your way up the corporate ladder. Remember, go big or go home. Invent something that everyone wants (like a toothbrush radio or a dishwasher that mows your lawn) and start selling! You’ll be rollin’ in the Benjamins in no time! Sell Your Family: Is your family getting you down? Does you wife ever stop nagging you? Do your screaming children make you wish that Dora the Explorer never got a green card? Does your mother-in-law keep telling you you’re a washed-up loser? Well I have good news for you! For a limited time, you can redeem those “loved ones” for cash! Our partners will take that pesky family off your hands and give you a cash settlement. Don’t worry about what happens to them; they’ll lead happy lives as indentured servants. Think of it this way: you wont need to buy as many Christmas presents! Fraud (For intermediate and advanced users only): Do you like bending the truth? If so, you’d probably be a great candidate for making your millions by committing fraud. Lie about your credit, make some questionable insurance claims, master the art of inside trading or steal your neighbor’s car. All these things and more will be covered in our fraud section of the book. Remember, it’s not illegal until you get caught*** All you have to do is make 16 easy payments of $19.99, and you can have my complete program. Call in the next five minutes and receive a free complimentary bag of pencil shavings! What are you waiting for? Order now!!! *Financial returns range between $1-$12. The other 90% of customers are either killed, seriously injured, or have life sentences in prison. **It could happen to you, but it probably won’t. ***It’s actually illegal no matter what. We take no responsibility for any legal issues you may encounter from using this product.