Let me tell you a tale that everyone should hear, ? Not like that Christmas stuff, filled with laughter and cheer, But a story of heartbreak, my summer spent in despair, I still love her dearly, and have some of her hair. It started at Six Flags—she was at a game booth, She had shiny pink hair and a huge snaggle tooth. My instincts kicked in, as I walked over to her, I was ailed with disease, and she was the cure. “Hey pretty lady, let me have a go, My dad’s Nolan Ryan, an old baseball pro.” This wasn’t the truth, that’s easy to see, But knocking down pins, how hard could it be? Ball after ball, I threw for my love, 80 bucks later, there’s a sign from above. What seemed like a baseball hit my woman on the head, She fell to the ground, and I thought she was dead. I knew CPR, but was too scared to speak, “C’mon now Yost, your game is mad weak.” I had to man up and save my cupcake, So I got on the ground, and gave her a shake. ? After I slammed, her head on the ground, She opened her eyes, and made the most awful sound. Then she said, like a humming bird calls, “Did you just hit me with one of your balls?” “It was not I, but a lowlife thief, I got you your bag, and punched out his teeth.” She thanked me, and was on her merry way, But I made sure that I’d see her, on some other day. When she bent down to tie her size 15 shoe, As a huge Facebook stalker, I knew just what to do. I found her I.D, and wrote down her name, Curious or creepy—why, it’s all just the same! When I got home, and then walked inside, I got so excited, I actually cried. My computer turned on and loaded Explorer, I signed onto Facebook, and left a request for her. Many days passed, and still no response. Was she not interested? Do I have a chance? (If you say it with a British accent it totally rhymes.) I left hundreds of messages, and kept calling her phone, She never picked up; I was out of the zone. But then one day, she sent me a letter, It was a restraining order, not for the better. I could no longer call or send her nice flowers, Or talk to her friends or watch her for hours. Love fills me now, even if we never formally meet, I watch her still, but “at a distance of 200 feet.”
