The Eighth Page

Senior Class Like Totally Doesn’t Feel Like Seniors

According to a recent study, the new Senior Class of 2009 like, totally, doesn’t feel like Seniors. “It’s just so weird, you know?” said Sarah Figgins ’09, a 4-year Senior. “Like, I just never saw myself as a Senior before. Being the oldest people on campus is a totally new experience for all of us. Ohh em gee, right?” Other Seniors shared similar sentiments. “Man, this [expletive deleted] is crazy,“ said one Blue Key who entered as a new Lower. “I mean, I never thought I’d be standing here wearing this awesome tie-dyed T-shirt and showing the new kids around campus. It just doesn’t seem like I’m old enough.” While some Seniors may not feel old enough, research shows that the average age of Phillips Academy Seniors has been roughly the same since the school’s inception in 1778. “It’s clearly a mental problem,” said Ronald Almondotter, a counselor at Graham House. “You see, the anxiety and disbelief that surrounds Senior year is a ritual that all PA graduates go through. Whether or not one ‘feels’ like a Senior has little to do with actually being a Senior.” “Though it is kind of weird that these new guys really don’t seem like Seniors,” Almondotter added. “I think they’re just too small. Small or not, the winds of change have been blowing and the Class of 2009 will be forced to affirm their roles as Seniors in the coming weeks. “It really hit me when I got that email with the subject heading: SENIORS ’09,” said one anonymous Senior. “It’s totally just like, whoa. Dude, I’m a Senior. How crazy is that? Just think about it for a second. It’s my Senior year. My mind is officially blown.” When asked what they felt like if not Seniors, members of the Class of ’09 responded with answers such as: “I don’t even know,” “not Seniors, that’s for sure” and “A freshman, haha isn’t that funny because I’m totally not a freshman anymore?” While many Seniors claim that their time at Andover has just flown by and they will miss it dearly, others remain unenthusiastic about Senior year. “I don’t get it,” said one Senior as he walked into Wednesday’s ASM not wearing a Senior T-shirt. “I mean, big whoop I’m a Senior. To tell you the truth, I don’t even feel like one.”