The Eighth Page

Senior Spooning

Step 1. Foxcroft — Whether you live here or not, this is where you’re going to want to wake up in the morning (preferably a Friday morning). Located in the heart of campus, this dorm provides easy access to innocent “spoonee” passerby via jumping out of dorm room windows. Step 2. Bicentennial Statue — It looks like a penis, but is not related to senior spooning. Just an observation. Step 3. Paul Revere — “Hey, ladies, I need a place to hide for a while…” Step 4. Commons (the common one) — Make your way over to the best ongoing renovation on campus! Commons is a great place to hide between classes for day students and kids who have lost their keys. Step 5. Shuman Admission Center — Admitting only the best “spooners” from every quarter since 1778, this admission center won’t let you down with hundreds of closets, filing cabinets and waste baskets to hide in on your way to English! Step 6. The Great Lawn — Not so great for hiding. Although the Armillary Sphere is technically a building! Just don’t get caught out there at night — you might rust! Step 7. Main Street — All you need is to look both ways and to have a day student “friend” give you a lift to Chapel Avenue and you’ll be all set. Step 8. Underwood Room —Have your day student drop you off right next to Kemper, because the Underwood Room is a great place to seduce your unknowing “spoonee” and bring him or her outside to “talk” during a dance. Oh, how little do they know! Step 9. Andover Inn — Now offering 40 percent discounts for all senior “spooners” in need of a convenient place to stay for the night! Step 10. Graham House — We know getting spooned is hard. That’s why we’re here.