The Eighth Page

Dr. Doze

Dr. Doze, the Legion of Evil’s evil genius, has the power to make even the most avid history class-going student fall asleep in class. His ability to shoot “Zzzz”-rays results in a rapid onset of a sleep in his students. He also has shape shifting abilities in order to assume the form of “normal” people like English and History teachers. A master of camouflage and disguise, Dr. Doze is the modern-day sandman, willing to creep up on any unsuspecting student and lull them to sleep. Catchphrase “No one will notice if you just rest your eyes for a few… hours!!” Dr. Doze in Action Dr. Doze walks into a second period History-310 class cleverly disguised as an everyday History teacher. He pretends to silently be taking attendance at his computer, but in reality he’s zapping the unsuspecting students with his “Zzzz”-rays. Dr. Doze: So class, how did you all enjoy the 90-page reading on the proper construction of pilgrim cottages that was accompanied wonderfully by that single-spaced 13-page paper about the differences between pilgrim and modern housing? The students all groan and grumble. Dr. Doze: Well class, doesn’t anyone have anything to say? Student #1: I think it’s safe to say that most of us stayed up all night doing this paper and we’re all exhausted. Dr. Doze: Really, now? I didn’t think it was too hard of an assignment. Students # 2, 3, and 4: Zzzzzzz… Dr. Doze: Oh gee. It seems that some of your classmates have mistaken naptime for class time. I have just the remedy, though! Since papers seem to keep you Uppers awake so much, we can just start a new one right now. —Joey Atiba