The Eighth Page

Presidential Speech Excerpts

10. “So as I sat before the DC Committee…” 9. “Barbara! I dropped a cufflink! Distract them with some wisdom from King Abdullah while I find it!” 8. “My fellow students, think not what you can do for your president, but what your president… a-hem ladies… can do for you.” 7. “Friends, brothers, fellow students and countrymen—lend me your ears. No, really, I’m doing an art project and I need like two hundred ears.” 6. “And now, for the talent portion of the competition, I will model this new Dolce & Gabbana handbag!” 5. “And, for the record, I did not have sex with that woman.” 4. “So, about my past running mate, the Devil.” 3. “Maybe if I look constipated enough, I could grow a beard.” 2. “I think there should be less communication between the students and the administration.” 1. “I’m a Virgo.”