The Eighth Page

Things overheard at the student-faculty dinner

10. “So, Dr. Keller, if you could just look at this rash real quick…” 9.“You kids ever gone on panty raids? No? Well, let me tell you…” 8. “Do you even work here?” 7. “So I was feeling up this freshman last night…” 6. “I’m not a huge fan of this new Unropes in Uncommons. It’s really Uncomfortable. This food is Untasty, too.” 5. “Do you need help getting that cheesecake off your face?” 4. “No, Mr. Washburn, you can’t DC someone for talking with their mouth full.” 3. “Could you stop trying to edit my soup? You’re getting ink on me.” 2. “Don’t you think we deserve extra credit for coming to this thing?” 1. “So, you got any plans for tonight?”