The Eighth Page

3rd Annual Green Cup Challenge Criticized for Discrimination Against Non-Green Cups

Last Wednesday, students and faculty gathered for a forum to discuss the Green Cup Challenge’s alleged cup color discrimination. Many have criticized the GCC’s prejudice against cups that are not of the dominant color, green. This alleged case of cupism has lead to a highly publicized controversy over the annual interschool competition. Over 500 students have already signed a petition entitled, “Green Cup Challenge is Unfair, Discriminatory, and Ostracizes Those of Us Who Support Other Colors of Cups Like the Occasional Blue, Pink or Flowered Cup or Those Small Cups that Look Like Cones Next to the Water Cooler”(The GCCUDOTUWSOCCLOBGFCTSCLLCNWC petition). Mitchell Martin ’08, who identifies with white, Styrofoam cups said, “It’s honestly all the administration’s fault. I’m so pissed. I mean every week people write articles in The Phillipian about how great it is that cupism doesn’t exist, but this cements it. I feel like I’m living under green cup supremacy. It really should not have to come down to colors or type of cup.” While students that favor the other color cups are fuming, Green Cup Challenge proponents are outraged and confused. An anonymous Upper e-proctor, who wished only to be identified by the fact that she doesn’t shave her legs and eats flaxseed, said, “It all started off innocently. We were just getting everyone to turn off lights to save drowning polar bears. The radicals took it too far.” Members of Eco-Action refused to attend last Wednesday’s forum, claiming that it was “ridiculous” and “irrelevant.” Instead, they chose to protest outside Samuel Phillips Hall, armed with Kermit the Frog picket signs, while singing, “It’s Not Easy Being Green.” Peter Franklin ’11, a forum participant, was outraged at the picketers, evident as he soon set a fire extinguisher on them. “The Green Cup kids just support this business because it’s a fad. They think they’re going to win the Nobel Peace Prize or something. They couldn’t even try on different ideas because they were too busy turning off the lights. I tripped nearly six times over the Bathroom Cup Appreciation Society president—talk about awkward.” Buff Jones ’08, a postgraduate student, is a proponent of all cups. Jones said, “For real, it’s not about color, or even size for that matter, on the field, cups of any color are imperative.” Green Cup supporters stressed that the challenge was not intended to neglect the cups of all other colors; it was a mere oversight. Paulo Righter ’09 said, “I’ve had enough of this ‘oversight’ bull****. We’ve seen this happen so many times in the past. I remember back in ’05. This is the same stuff they were trying to pull with natural foods. It was a conspiracy dreamed up by the dirty hippies and plumbers. I had never been more ‘regular’ until I started eating those dried fruits and weird peanut butter.”