_Sleeping Beauty is lying motionless in her chamber. It is believed that she was put under a curse and has been asleep for over 1000 years. That is, until one day, when the handsome Prince Charming crosses her path._Prince Charming: Hark! What have we here? A pretty young damsel lying alone in her chamber? I believe I shall steal a gander for myself. Sleeping Beauty: ZZZZZZzzzzzz… Prince Charming: Why, she’s still asleep. How peculiar! All that beauty gone to waste; ‘Tis truly a shame. Oh, what pretty golden hair and supple bosoms she carries! Indeed, she is a fine specimen, more than worthy of my handsome presence. Perhaps I shall bless her with a kiss. It shan’t hurt a thing. The silly young girl won’t even know because she’s off dozing in slumberland. Ahhhh, yes. It’s the perfect crime._Prince Charming slowly leans over to kiss her. The moment their lips touch, Sleeping Beauty begins to vomit uncontrollably, almost as if it were some kind of reflex. Prince Charming is thrown back in surprise and is now soaked from head to toe in whatever Sleeping Beauty had had for dinner the other night. Sleeping Beauty slowly gets up from her bed with a confused and cranky look on her face as she carelessly wipes the vomit residue from her rosy red lips._Prince Charming: What the…?!?! Aughh!!! My perfect hair! Oh what a disaster! You’ve ruined my new blouse! Such filth penetrating my beautiful body! It cannot be! Sleeping Beauty: Who on earth are you? Prince Charming: Who am I? Why none other than Prince Charming, the most handsome prince in all the land. Forgive me for my intrusion, but what, pray tell, are you? Some kind of evil witch perhaps? Sent to punish those who do no wrong by expelling your bodily fluids in their faces? Sleeping Beauty: Wha…What? Sorry, you’re not making any sense. Prince Charming: What sense is there to make? You just barfed all over me and ruined my new blouse! Sleeping Beauty: Oh yeah… about that… listen, I’m sorry. It’s just that last night was kind of crazy. Like, I don’t even remember what happened. They told me the Pixie Punch was non-alcoholic. Next thing you know, you’re buying overpriced life insurance from seven dwarfs that you thought were nice guys. Prince Charming: You crazy, vile woman! Does thou not have any morals? Sleeping Beauty: Oh excuse me, sir! Morals? I’m not the one breaking into women’s houses and dishonoring them as they sleep! Prince Charming: Fair enough._Cinderella weeps softly in a dusty corner of the room. All of a sudden, her Fairy Godmother appears with a group of cuddly animal critters. _Cinderella: Who the heck are you guys? Fairy Godmother: Not now, deary. Hush hush, we mustn’t waste a minute. You certainly can’t go to a grand ball wearing rags like those. Now here, try on this dress that my chipmunk and bird friends have skillfully sewn for you. Cinderella: (Picks up what looks like some kind of heinous wild boar skin): Uhhh… thanks, I guess. But I’m not going to the ball. Fairy Godmother: Oh nonsense, sweetheart. You’ll be the prettiest girl there. Here, take these magical glass slippers—custom-fit, of course. Cinderella: (As she tries to put on the slippers) Are you sure about that? They seem kind of tight. Can’t you conjure up like some kind of magic shoehorn or something? Fairy Godmother: Oh, you silly goose. Who has ever heard of something so outrageous as a magic shoehorn? Here, let me help you out._Fairy Godmother grabs Cinderella’s right foot and tries to jam it into the glass slipper. After multiple failed attempts, Cinderella gives up. Fairy Godmother, however, insists on one last shove. The slipper shatters and shards of glass cut deep into Cinderella’s foot._Cinderella: GAHHHHHHERRRGGHHHHH!!! Fairy Godmother: Oh dear, what a shame.
