10. Smokeahontas, Pocahontas’s doped-up cousin 9. The Dallas Cowboys 8. Smallpox 7. Lord Henry Whitename 6. Al Gore, to warn them about the future 5. Macy’s advertising director, Leonard Goldfarb 4. All the colors of the wind 3. Chief Thisdoesn’tbringmywifeback 2. Mr. Gobbles, in blessed memory 1. The Pilgrims