This week, early college applications were submitted. Adolescents across the country took part in the hallowed tradition of overestimating themselves. Now many Andover students will play the waiting game, and the stress is already getting to some. “Come on, let’s be serious, I’m not getting into Stanford, but it was worth a shot in the dark anyway right?” said Nigel Dawes ’08, who has averaged a 2.0 in his four years at Andover. “I’ll always have Oxford as my backup,” he added. For those of you who find yourselves considering early applications in the future, or to those who have just completed them and would like to see where they went wrong, I give you the “Alex Moss Three-Point Plan For Entrance Into Your Dream College Or At Least A College With A Similar Mascot Via The Early Application Process and Such.” Every Little Detail Matters I know what you’re thinking: colleges only want to know about the big things – my grades, extracurricular activities, etc. Well, you’re wrong and should probably be down on your knees praising whatever benevolent god led you to this article (I guess this is the best time to mention that humility on an application is important, too). That second grade essay on how miniature golf was your favorite sport to play? Let the academic elites hear about it. Your role as backup point guard on your fifth grade basketball team? Send some letters to college coaches. Don’t be modest – if you know how to play Chopsticks, videotape your skills on the same cassette as that mix you made for your girlfriend and ship it off to the Ivies. Regardless of how inconsequential that eight game winning streak you had in Guess Who? back when you were six may seem, it could very well be the difference between you and the kid sitting next to you right now. Yeah, him. The ugly one. Essays, Essays, Essays The college application essay is likely the most important essay you will ever write. Colleges are oftentimes looking at this to get a grasp of who you are as a person, so make sure to put your best foot forward. Honesty is not necessarily the best policy. If you overcame adversity, by all means, indulge yourself, but for those of us without an inspirational story, have hope. After painstaking research, I’m certain that college admission boards are impressed by any and all pirate and ninja stories. How would a friend characterize you? Respond that your only friend is the sea, and that she’s a salty old gal (never underestimate puns). Asked where you see yourself career wise in ten years? Easy: wreaking vengeance on your sworn enemy Taz “Iron Fist” Nakakazu. Legacy Son Legacies can give your application that extra boost, so it’s crucial to make sure colleges are aware that your parents attended their institution. Dropping subtle hints in the general information section can be effective. If you have an interview, make sure to introduce yourself in a manner that covertly lets them know: “ Hey, I’m Alex Moss. Oh, me? I’m fine, thanks. I’m a third generation at Hofstra actually. My family has been Hofstra-faithful since slave times.” If you’re moneyed, try sneaking a Hamilton into the interviewer’s palm when shaking their hand. If inquired what the purpose of the money is, innocently respond “What money?” and give ‘em your trademark wink. The wink can seal it, I guarantee.
