Spring is a time for warm weather, flip-flops, longboards, bro-in’ it up with the bro’s and the hormonally driven quest for a mate. But for one unfortunate quarter of our student body, spring means one terrible thing: the Upper Year History 310 Research Paper. Around this time of year, students start bashing their brains against walls in order to come up with their topic. The perfect topic is something that is scholarly, yet at the same time interesting and exciting to research. Basically, it doesn’t exist. So for the benefit of all students enrolled in History 310, and those of you who plan on graduating, here are my suggestions for history papers topics that are hip and edgy. They might just be able to get you that six. Underground slave trade in the Greater Boston area. Everybody loves a good, local story. As for primary sources, it would be easy. If you’re a day student, simply sell your younger sibling into the trade. If you happen to live on campus, just keep an eye out for a petite and limber freshman. Piece of cake. Barbara Chase. Suggested title: “BLC: the Life and Times.” You could touch upon her increasing the diversity of the student body, her push for need-blind admission, and how she beat Exeter Head of School Tyler Tingley in a marathon. The BLC is also responsible for popularizing the word sticktoitiveness in the Merrimack Valley region. Again, local history is calling. War. From my studies and reading of Cliffsnotes, I’ve found that war plays an important part in history, but writing about a major war is so cliché. My recommendation is to focus your paper on the Northern Alaskan campaign of 1922. Heroes were forged, and a whole generation of hockey players was sacrificed to stave off the barbarians on the border: Canada. Despite the fact that its entire army rode on the backs of polar bears, Canada was no match for Uncle Sam and the gang. Our forces were able to drive the Canadians back to the igloos from whence they came. Reagan Space Policy. Under the insightful leadership of the Great Reagan, the United States established its first lunar colony. The Space Marines successfully subjugated the Mooninites, and used them as forced labor to build the moon mines that provide our nation with its endless supply of oil. Obviously the success of the US’s lunar mission had great ramifications for the rest of planetary society. It also sparked the great Intercelestial Space Colonization Conference, where the US patched up its relationship with the Martian delegation over some fresh Danish and scones. The United States’ growing imperial ambitions starting with the precedents laid forth by Monroe stretching all the way to the present Iraqi conflict. Points that can be mentioned include the CIA training of death squads and assassins throughout Central and South America, the expansion of the military industrial complex, and the far reaching tentacles of American corporations with ties to high government officials, such as Halliburton and the United Fruit Corporation. The current wars in Afghanistan and Iraq can be used as examples of direct troop deployment to show military strength in a region that is attempting to slip outside of the United States’ sphere of control… I’m just kidding guys, that paper topic isn’t feasible because it isn’t true! The US only participates in foreign policy so it can spread good will and benevolent democracy throughout the world. C’mon, bro. Well that’s it. I’m dry. If you didn’t like any of those topics, here’s something I’ll bet you will like: mediocrity. But good luck, fellow students, and I hope your 6 to 9 (cough, 12) page papers are both as informative and entertaining as this article.
