It’s convenient to assume that we’re alone in this universe, but what if we’re not? Recently it has been discovered that a highly sophisticated alien race has been monitoring human activity for years, and publishing their findings. **An Indoor Track Practice:** The humans locate themselves within a large, hollow structure known as ‘Cage.’ They then propel themselves about a circular artery, attempting to discharge heat and water from their bodies. Their shorts are very short. **A One Man Show:** Hundreds of humans seat themselves in the opposing view of one standing human. The standing human proceeds to communicate, with no response, to the other humans. Finally, the seated humans bang the ends of their arms together in approval. –_Jonathan Adler_
