In my previous terms at Andover, I remember the tingling excitement I experienced at the end of every week. After successfully surmounting the peak of Wednesday and chugging downhill through Thursday, the finish line seemed tantalizingly close but aggravatingly distant by Friday. On Friday night, I heaved a sigh of relief and jubilantly welcomed the weekend. I usually frittered Saturday and Sunday away reveling in the contentment of sheer nothingness. My weekends consisted of two blissful days of sleep, naps, daydreams and a slight chance of reading. “Weekends should be all week long,” I bemoaned as I stumbled, bleary-eyed and aching from my intense relaxation, to class Monday morning. No work, no tests, no papers. That would be heaven. Now, I have had the first-hand experience of “weeklong weekends.” I have taken this term off, so I have 24 hours a day, seven days a week to devote to… whatever. I have taken up crocheting, scrap booking, and memorizing every cartoon on Ebaumsworld.com. But despite all of the ‘productivity,’ I can’t help but feel let down by my eternal Saturday. I am accustomed to having every waking moment crammed into some class, sport, or club. I have adapted to a life of running around and collapsing into bed, exhausted, every night. I have come to love my industrious lifestyle, and I find contentment from a busy, productive day. I love to recount my achievements in a day and take pride in what I have done. But now, my days are spent doing whatever I feel like. I have a very loose schedule and at the end of a day, I am left wondering whether I actually did anything. It is disconcerting having this much freedom, as days blend together in hazy oblivion. I find myself craving work, assignments, and routine. And when I think about my old, busy, stressed-out self, I feel jealous. I envy all of you at school. No matter how awful the workload may feel, I can attest that it is more gratifying and soothing than the alternative. In my opinion, the academic schedule is perfectly balanced. Two-day vacations, with the occasional long weekend, give an adequate amount of time to regroup. If weekends were any longer, students might start to experience my restlessness. I understand that weekends may seem too short, but with perspective from the other extreme, I promise that too much rest can have an adverse effect. After all this relaxation, I can hardly sit still. On the other hand, it is also unhealthy to be working all weekend. This can wear a student down so much that his or her work becomes sleep-deprived mush. It is important to achieve a balance of work and rest. I suppose that this term has taught me several things. With all my free time, I have been forced to sit with myself. In the crazy comings and goings of school, students take very little time to sit alone and get to know the person behind all of the achievement. I often get very uncomfortable with the person who I am, and I feel the driving need to get something done. It is not enough to “be,” I must also “do.” I worry that, with our busy lives, it is hard to appreciate ourselves for who we are, as opposed to what we accomplish. When you think about what you like about yourself, how much of it is achievement-oriented? Taking the term off has gradually taught me to tolerate myself, even when I am not “making myself a better person” or “doing my best.” While too much free time is irritating and unbearable, I think that it is also important to take some alone time to simply “exist.” Sit and breathe, that’s all. Lots of people become restless and feel the need to do something very quickly. As students, and more importantly, as people, we need to learn to do our best, to be our best and also to appreciate ourselves for who we are, no matter what.
