This year, Praxis, one of Andover’s only community service progam that fulfills the athletic requirement, has gotten a boost from three outstandingly athletic and charitable postgraduates. “These guys are just so big [hearted] you wouldn’t believe they are in high school,” said an avid campus admirer. “We have been pushing hard to find and recruit some new blood for Praxis,” said admissions officer Kevin Bojangles. This news comes after three straight years of disappointing performance in the sport. “It had gotten to the point where I, as a dedicated coach, just couldn’t take it anymore. I talked to some of my colleagues and contacts at other schools and they all mentioned bringing PG’s in. When I went to discuss the possibility with admissions, they laughed, most likely at themselves for never thinking of it,” said Johann Bigglesworth, Praxis’ head coach. Praxis’ image has been slowly damaged through repeated budget cuts and decreasing popularity. “We’re hoping the PG’s will encourage other students to participate and get excited about Praxis. They are role models for the entire community,” said the coach. “I just want to beat the hell out of some of those Exeter nincompoops and bring the title back home where it belongs. There’s nothing that will stop me from winning state champs. That hazing that I went through during preseason, that was nothing. All those wounds have fully healed,” said George Dyson ’07, one of the three Praxis PG’s. Exeter has matched Andover’s commitment to the sport by bringing a team full of PG’s. “Success and talent doesn’t just come to us by nature, we buy it, and let me tell you it ain’t cheap” said an Exeter spokesman. Exeter has held the Praxis title for over 5 years. “The best Andover-Exeter competition isn’t football, it’s Praxis,” say many students of the Abbot cluster. “That kind of good-hearted dedication is hard to come by in this day and age.” The team has tried to boost interest in the sport through a complete uniform redesign. The new uniform requires torn jeans, a death metal shirt, at least 5 articles of goth “flare,” and a thick metal studded collar to be worn during all times of play. Naturally, an official-approved gimp suit is another option for participants. “The new uniform is very modern and it will also open up a lot of licensing opportunities. It just makes everyone feel so comfortable and stylish at the same time.” Praxis has been called a college dream for Andover because it fulfills the sports requirement and it can also be counted as an extracurricular. College counseling has fully endorsed the sport and continually recommended the sport to the athletically unmotivated on campus. If everything goes as planned and participation increases this year, the sport plans to expand and add a JV team next year. The outlook for Praxis is bright on Andover Hill. One can only wait to see what will become of this brilliant sport and the PG’s.
