DO: Spend your first 12 weekends in Ryley Room- Yes, it may be painful, but even the strongest of warriors must first be broken in to the arena. Watch the movie “Crank”- Going to Andover and being injected with the Beijing Cocktail both have the same requirements for survival Develop a European accent- Prep school girls love it. You’ll learn why in Bio-100. Eat as much ice cream as possible- Chocolate + vanilla = crazy delicious. Practice your rhetoric- Speaking in a churlish manner while attending the academy is simply uncouth. Give all background information to PAPS- I forgot to report several misdemeanors while registering last year. The result was 4 hours in Andover’s very own pit of scorpions. Make a pair of American flag pants- All those not sporting the red, white, and blue on desginated days will receive a jolt of Southern justice from yours truly. DO NOT Forget to look nice for photo day- Everyone goes through the facebook about 8 times on a daily basis. No one wants to be known as the “kid with elephantiasis.” Leave your mail room box unlocked- I made this mistake last year. Hence someone just happened to have stolen the memo about the chimichangas possibly containing the ebola virus. Hammer nails into your roommate’s head- That’s just plain dangerous. Tempting at points, but dangerous. Get into your blue key’s van for “special orientation”- I now have nightmares and always sleep with my head under the blanket. Be the kid who never has a pencil- Because of people like this I had to sell my fixed annuities jsut to make Oprah scratch and get some new no. 2’s. Seriously guys, no one likes a pencil-less Peter. Keep it real- Chances are there is someone at this school who can keep it real-er, i.e. the class of 2007.
