Quebec is known for its fanciful wines, French dialects, and numerous erotic novelty shops. When traveling to Quebec, you must remember to sport your American flag pants and cowboy boots. Americans usually get a more than friendly reception when visiting foreign countries, so feel free to take advantage of the hospitality. Do not forget to exchange your crisp, American greenbacks in for monopoly money, seeing as foreigners cannot tell the difference between actual currency and other small rectangular pieces of paper. Social interaction is very important in Quebec, so get your jabber-jaws prepared! Some popular topics include the quality of contemporary cheeses, the status of the National Hockey League, and what cloths ignite more easily when burning the Canadian flag during protests for succession. Quebec is also known for its delicious dishes, including bouillabaisse, croque monsieur, Filet de small boi. The quality of these foods is directly proportional to your inability to pronounce their names. Perhaps the only thing more enjoyable than the taste of the food is the superfluidity of champagne. Thousands of different types of champagne are sold around the province. Every Monday is “le jour de vin-bu gratuite,” translated into English as “Happy Day.” During happy day thousands of people line the streets to participate in festivities. When in Quebec you will have to give up some of your American customs in order to adapt to the culture. One of these activities is being a man. In most French influenced areas, the act of being a man is considered vulgar and repulsive. Hence, you should be sure to get castrated before you leave. Quebec is a land full of fun and adventure. Whether you’re in French 100 or you’re just plain sick of eating red meat and watching football, be sure to visit that majestic land just north of the border.
