Are you tired of crowded beaches? Sick of paying a fortune to lay down in a tropical paradise? Interested in illicit financial transactions? Well then you’re in luck because we have it all in the land of Haiti! Haiti is located just off the coast of Cancun, Mexico, which makes it just as good, if not better! Our newly renovated luxurious resorts now have some form of beds! Here at the tropical island of Haiti, the locals will show you all kinds of neat-o things to do. Like Voodoo! Ever been kidnapped before? Well now here’s your chance! Kidnappings for ransom happen here on a day-to-day basis. Real life kidnappers! Real life threats! Real life danger! Do you like action movies? Well now you can be part of one! Haiti offers realistic interactive dangerous situations that include armed gang fights, carjacking, and any other form of assault you can think of. Can’t afford a round trip? No problem! In Haiti, resident experts are constantly swimming to other nations close by and will be more than happy to help you get to where you need to go. Do you enjoy a refreshing drink from time to time? Well that’s alright, as long as you don’t drink the water in Haiti. Also, Haiti rhymes with shady, as in a nice shady palm tree on the seaside. Haiti! Where will you be this summer? Join the rest of America and party all night in the tropical paradise of Haiti.
