The Eighth Page


Chill out this summer with the scientists located in the southern hemisphere of the world. Yes, yes, yes, Antarctica has much to offer to you and your family. As know one knows what country “owns” it, you can basically do whatever you want. It’s just like North Dakota without the funky smell. However, our most popular attraction is the annual march with the penguins. Join in our famous Emperor Penguins on their journey to manhood. Exciting twists and turns are guaranteed. Please be aware of the ferocious leopard seals and their ability to devour human flesh. The continent of Antarctica does not condone any actions of violence performed by these satanic beasts, and we are obligated to tell our visitors that we are not responsible for any casualties that may occur. And for a limited time you could have your own journey documented by some French guy and then narrated by Morgan Freeman. Only for a nominal fee of five thousand dollars, you can relive the excitement in DVD, which is surprisingly ridiculously less than how much your movie will gross at the box office. Antarctica is a great vacation spot for anyone with a profound interest in mosses and lichens. Yetis tend to thrive in the grand mountains and we encourage all tourists to venture out to see these gentle giants. The generosities of the yeti tribes know no bounds as they are always willing to share their frozen pop tarts with newcomers.