The Eighth Page

Prom 2006

It’s that time of year again! Spring is here, love is in the air, the stacks, and the Sanctuary. The only motivations for the seniors to remain at Phillips are Senior Spooning, the return of the bell tower, and the fact that if they don’t graduate, they will not go to college. With Prom fast approaching, the Features editors have compiled a list of the most notable Prom couples out there. Addendums include commentary and grades on a 1-6 scale. Dan Bacon ’06 and Dina Burkitbayeva ’06 The fact that both have the initials “DB” must mean something. 4+. Steve Blackman ’07 and Arianna Wilkinson ’06 These two are honestly at opposite sides of the alphabet, much like bulldog and walrus. Phillipian love needs to be kept private. No one wants to see that. 3-. Andres Bobadilla ’06 and Pico the Talking Goat ’06 Andres has finally found someone who dances as well as he does. Plus, I hear she’s a real handful in the hay. 5. Luke Cahill ’06 and Kaite Estaba ’07 This couple has a two-part grade, depending on whether or not Kaite shows up in a normal dress (4) or in a dress similar to what she designed for the fashion show, complete with caution tape and excessive eyeshadow (6). Tony Christiano ’06 and Domenica MacNaughton ’06 Domenica is the luckiest girl in the school. It is generally accepted as fact that Tony has the cutest bottom in his grade. 4+. Raffi Dunphy (I) and Brianna Tay ’06 I have been led to believe that Mr. Dunphy is Raffi the “Baby Beluga” guy. As such, 4+. Brian Emrich ’04 and Susan Ho ’06 If we did the math right, Brian will be 21 at Prom, a fact which will make him 40 times more popular than he would be otherwise. 5+/6-. Andrew Glasrud ’06 and Mia Kanak ’06 The obvious height difference here yields a lesser grade. He might as well give her a piggyback ride instead of dancing with her. 3. Tom Han ’06 and Sarah Guo ’07 Tiny people are amusing. 4+/5-. Karl Hirt ’06 and Katherine Adams ’06 Karl will be sure to “bring the Hirt” come prom night. 5-. Michael Jiang ’07 and Jasmin Baek ’06 Freshman year, I vowed to myself that if Mike Jiang were to get a girlfriend before I did, I would eat an entire bowl of Grape Nuts, without milk. Because grape nuts are gross, they get a 5. Wynne Lam ’06 and Jean Pak ’07 Their prom experience will be available on DVD in Spring 2008, produced as an animated adventure by Pixar. 4. Rush Martin ’07 and Jungmin Son ’06 Extra credit for having the coolest names possible. 6-. Fahad Missmar ’06 and Alexa Reid ’07 Rumor has it that Alexa plans to move back to Jordan with Fahad, to help bolster his reputation as a Westernized Arab. 3+/4-. Kevin Olusola ’06 and Nandini Vijayakumar ’06 Negative props for unpronouncable last names. That being said, they’re perfect for each other. 5+/6-. Shay Paintal ’07 and Kassie Archambault ’06 The real question is, who would win in a wrestling bout. 4+. Derek de Svastich ’06 and Cornelia Wolcott ’06 At any normal high school, these two would win prom king and queen. However, since Andover is not normal, Wynne Lam ’06 and Jean Pak ’07 would probably win. 5-/5. Hunter Thunell ’06 and Abby King ’07 Didn’t see that one coming. 3 Colin Touhey ’06 and Justin Lee ’06 There’s no denying true love. 6+. Matt Ward ’06 and Julie Wadland ’06 If something were to happen on Prom Night, their spawn would be the most athletic children in the world, and would closely resemble a cross between Mike Kuta and the FIT guy. 5. Ben Weiner ’06 and Caroline Moore ’07 If they married, and Caroline chose to retain her maiden name, their children would have the surname Moore-Weiner. 4. John Badman ‘06 and Merit Webster ‘06 The quality of John’s suit is likely to depend on the number of illegal immigrant tailors working at his CT castle of doom. God bless capitalism. 5