Emo is perhaps the toughest fashion statement to pull off on campus. It is sexy, yet violent; avant-garde, yet reserved; lame, yet… well still lame. It is easy to spot a person wearing emo clothing, as their attire will tend conjure a mix of powerful emotions subsequently challenging human authority. More importantly, wearing emo-clothing is an easy way to be deemed cool. Seriously, it is a commonly known fact that it is impossible for someone to be a loser if they are wearing emo clothes. If you see someone wearing emo clothes and you find them to be uncool, then either you just don’t understand them enough (you sellout), or you yourself are in fact a loser making this claim out of spite (jerk). Some classic staples of the emo trend are ARM BANDS: to hide the savage cries for help on your wrists. EXCESSIVELY HUGE HEADPHONES: there is no need for headphones to be this big; however, it is the only protection you have from other people hearing you listen to Aqua in public. EXCESSIVELY TIGHT JEANS: Do you have a 10-year-old cousin? Does he wear jeans? Good, you’re on your way to being cool! CHUCK TAYLORS: You must color on them or they do not function properly as footwear. There are many horror stories of undecorated shoes blowing out like a right-front tire at the Daytona 500. Don’t let it happen to you. And so on. There are many other staples of the emo genre, but to name them all would be posery and lame. However, simply wearing emo clothing is not enough. If you wear emo clothes, you must listen to emo music. It’s the law. Some classic emo bands include: Matchbook Romance, Fall Out Boy, and SLaVE. In wearing emo clothes, you effectively sell your soul to these bands. Especially SLaVE. They rock hard.
