The Eighth Page

Features Faceoff – Most Romantic Experience

The following articles were written by writers new to the Features section. They both wrote in response to the prompt “Describe your most romantic experience.” They are both big goons. Please vote for which article you find funnier, via email, to by Sunday night at 8:00 pm… The winner of last week’s Faceoff is Blaine Johnson. Thinking back on my most romantic experience, my mind takes me to the events of last year’s spring break. Yoni Gruskin, Zack Johnson, Matt Yeager, and I decided to take a little trip to Universal Studios before the lacrosse trip at the Kissimmee Ho Jo. The little adventure was filled with humorous events; the action all began one night after “teen curfew” at the Universal Studios boardwalk. Aimlessly walking/looking for our hotel we four from Phillips Academy with our polos and rainbows stood amidst hundreds all running around in the six foot Ecko t-shirts and Air Jordans. We decided to maybe look around for some girls before the cops made us go back to the hotel. Spotting some potential love-meat outside of the Quicksilver shop, we decided to make our move. This consisted of kind of stalking the girls by following them around on the moving boardwalks that were like escalators. After about ten minutes or so, we finally realized that we were following them without talking or having made the decision to follow them at all. Funny how the male brain works. So after realizing that we were legit stalkers we decided to look for some more girls back at our hotel. Going back through the mob of drunk leprechauns and Mandango warriors (it was St. Patrticks Day) we found our way onto the ferry back to the Hard Rock Cafe. The ferry ride back was quite interesting, and our remarks concerning how we just stalked three girls mixed with the love boat girls’ humor, whom we thought were definitely in college, which ruined our chances with them. (Editor’s Note: Burke, please learn how to write) Spirits down, we trudged back to the hotel room and decided to make a little trip out to the hot tub and check out the action brewing there. Thanks to the eyes of the bright Yoni Gruskin (Hop on the Poni and Vote for Yoni) we spotted some serious action in one of the hot tubs hidden densely in the fake foliage. We quickly shuffled over and hopped in. Before we knew what has happened, us four are sitting in the hot tub with the love boat girls. Ohh Man were we excited. Yoni, the obvious ladies man in the bunch, started a conversation. We find out that they were actually both our age and looking for some action if you know what I mean. As time passes on, one of the girls mentions that they are both from Mississippi. Having never been to Ole’ Miss myself, I was stupid enough to ask if people rode down the river in wooden rafts and fished for catfish all day, since I read Huck Finn once. Which didn’t spike the conversation much so I began to make the sound of a baby quail during the hatching period. The girl that mentioned they were from Mississippi laughed and actually said that she was kind of offended. They left soon after at which point I was almost being drowned by Yeager, Zack, and Yoni. Back in our room, the action really started to hear up. I climb in with an already slumbering Yeager as he claimed “dibs” on sharing the bed with me and Zack and Yoni heading over to their bed. As Yeager can commonly be mistaken for a cuddly Teddy Bear, he was very comforting in the night. Around 5:30 A.M. I awake to Matt’s burly arms wrapped around my shoulders and his hairy chest resting uncomfortably close to my back, as I was sleeping on my side. I look over at Zack and Yoni who are lying straight as boards as far away from one another as possible. So I ward off the bear and again fall back asleep. In no time I awake again and find Yeager, who has only shorts on and same with me, practically cuddling with me. This time I decide it’s not worth the effort to push him away and fell asleep in his arms, his body warming me as he stole all of the blankets. The night was one to remember, I actually slept and cuddled with a man before a woman. The next day we wake up about 9:00 o’clock and pack as we have to head out for the Ho Jo later that day. The four of us make one last trip back to the pools and hot tub. Sitting in the hot tub, we see the girls from last night come over and hop in. They claim they are actually in eight grade and start giggling and run off. Stupid middle-schoolers. As we leave the hotel, Yeager says to Yoni, “one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, EIGTH GRADE Yoni, way to be, ending our interesting three day adventure at the Hard Rock Café in Universal Studios, but beginning of a whole new experience at the Howard Johnson in Kissimmee, Florida for the Spring break lacrosse trip. But that’s a story for a different time.