An editorial in the New York Times on September 20th (“Many Women at Elite Colleges Set Career Path to Motherhood”) discussed the rising number of women at first-rate colleges who are choosing families over careers. These students are not attending these elite institutions by chance. With their high G.P.A.’s and extensive extracurriculars, they constitute some of America’s brightest students. One would expect that their plans for the future would be similarly exceptional and ambitious. Yet more and more women are choosing to become stay-at-home-moms, where they apply these expensive and coveted educations to the mundane tasks of motherhood. Harvard’s women aren’t yearning to write great pieces of literature, but snack recipes to serve their children on their way to soccer practice. I do not mean to discredit housewives; raising children is a demanding occupation, as well as a rewarding one. As an eternal participant in their child’s life, parents influence children enormously. Many working mothers express regret for missing out on raising their children. The New York Times quoted Ms. Liu, a student at Yale, saying “My mother’s always told me ‘you can’t be the best career woman and the best mother at the same time. You always have to choose one over the other.” But do women really need to make such an extreme choice? When it comes time for a woman to decide between a career and motherhood, is it really all or nothing? Taking a few years off or having a part-time job during the early years of child rearing is a compromise many women make. However, financial necessity takes away the option of being a full or part-time mother. Women are misled by expressions like “choosing to have a career.” Not working is no longer a choice for many. It’s a luxury – or at a minimum, a serious sacrifice,” wrote Nicholas Kulish, in response to this editorial. While the Ivy League women cited in the editorial can afford to take years off to take care of their offspring, most women in America must work in order to support themselves and their families. A woman’s choice to stay at home is not universal; only the wealthy class is privileged enough to make such a decision. Are women reverting back to the 1950s stereotypes of a white picket fence, four kids and a dog? Are they succumbing to chauvinists, who still insist that a woman’s place is in the kitchen? Some people look down upon or pity women who do not have careers of their own. They sadly assume that these women are simply bending to gender stereotypes or settling for a mediocre life in the shadow of their career-minded husbands. What these onlookers fail to recognize though is the distinguishing factor of choice. If a woman understands her options and her abilities and makes the decision to be a stay-at-home-mom, she is not submitting to a stereotype or stepping aside for her husband. Instead, she is taking control of her life. One who has had the privilege of attending Andover or an Ivy League university should make the most of the opportunities they are presented with. They should strive to fulfill their aspiration in life, be that by pursuing a career or raising a family. I encourage all young women and young men in my generation to work towards their dreams. Maybe we can’t have it all, but we certainly can try.
