The Eighth Page

Commons Food: Danger Will Robinson Danger

Welcome to Andover. Let me be the first not to use the timeless “new and exciting journey” cliché to describe what will be the quarter of your life. As I’m sure you are aware, Andover’s “extensive and rigorous curriculum” along with the interaction of a diverse community allows for considerable personal and academic growth. But with so much opportunity comes a lot of responsibility as well as some danger. Yes. Danger. Peril, even. One threat to your well-being that can be by no means overlooked is food poisoning. The majority of Commons dishes, although not particularly appetizing, are toxin-free. However there is a spattering (I love that word) of dishes to avoid. Among these are “cheeseburg, yes burg, pie” and anything served in those little casserole dishes. The worst, of course, is cheeseburg casserole, which is both of those. I should also note that curry is a dangerous spice in the wrong hands. Most Commons food is tolerable, though, and the chicken piccata is exquisite. Of course, we follow the golden rule: “When in doubt, order out.” When ordering food, think about what you want. For a lot of food at a decent price, go with the 555 deal from Dominoes. If you are looking to brag about your meal to the entire dorm, Golden Chopstick is a good choice. Depending on the dish, the odor of this Chinese food can cover a large radius. It lingers for as long as it takes to understand the “red dot” scheduling system (Monday classes on Tuesday? I still don’t get it..) Also beware of the tendency for your clothes, bed, curtains, hair, and carpet to smell for, well, ever. For lunch when pizza is not an option and there is nothing but “uneatables” in the servery, there is always the sandwich cart. You may make the decision to become a regular there. Upperclassmen are impressed with a Junior who can confidently and, of course, successfully ask for and receive. “the usual” sandwich. Commons desserts, however, are decent for the most part. Mandatory for graduation is memorization and the ability for flawless recitation of the commons dessert schedule. As it is useful during your time at Andover, it will be listed hereafter for your reference (lists are fun to read): -Monday: Cake -Tuesday: Something fruity -Wednesday: Ice Cream (get there early) -Thursday: Cookies-usually chocolate chip (look for the large flat ones, not the small thick ones) -Friday: Surprise! (whatever’s left) One more note about Commons; when picking a dining hall choose wisely. This decision will define your life at Andover. My advice would be to avoid upper left, this common faculty haunt is your best bet for an atomic wedgie.