In recent weeks, over a thousand dollars has been donated by male athletes to Exeter’s athletic facilities. Specifically, the money has been given to build dividers in the men’s shower area and provide bathing suits for all students who regularly shower in the gym. “I think it’s great that kids are giving to our facilities. It sends a positive message to other schools about our student satisfaction,” said headmaster Tyler Tingley. Students are equally as enthusiastic about the donations. “I just think it’s great that I can help out my school,” said Tommy Brighton, an advocate for longer, looser fitting swimsuits for the incredibly successful mens swim team. The donations surprised many alumni, who said the gift is the largest ever donated for something they deem so “unimportant.” Other alumni simply called the gift “stupid.” Ninety-five percent of the young men of Exeter donated to this cause, a much higher participation rate than other, sillier efforts such as cancer research, underclassmen housing, consistent food supply, and flu vaccines. “I don’t care whether I get the flu or not, as long as I get my privacy in the shower. I was raised in a religious family, and I don’t think my parents would approve of other male students seeing my special regions.” Phillips Andover, a markedly inferior prep-school, has shown no initiative in the shower-room divider issue. Still, the support for the program remains strong on campus. Phil Preston, a football PG, said “I wanted to donate to this fantastic gift because I want only the best for my school and its students, and definitely not because I’m ashamed of my p…
