Jeez guys, isn’t college so funny? Becuase that’s what I’m supposed to write about this week. I love it when people talk about college, because again, and perhaps I’m repeating myself, college is so funny. The following are some of the absolutely hilarious things that people say about college, things that super-funny, ultra-cool people say when there are awkward lulls in the conversation. 1. I’m not getting into college: it’s absolutely uproarious when people say this, especially when the people who do it have five averages and are tri-varsity athletes. “Haha, guys, I just came from the college counseling office, and I’m totally not getting into college.” Whoever says that is the cat’s pajamas. In reality, they’ll probably go to a non-HYP Ivy, such as Cornell or Brown. But regardless of where they end up, we know one thing for sure…they are absolutely hilarious. 2. I’m going to Bunker Hill Community College: no you aren’t. No one from Andover goes there, and everyone knows it. Also, it’s kind of a dumb thing to say, since a lot of people go there, and they’d be pretty pissed off if they knew that we were making a huge joke out of their school. 3. Haaaaarrrrrvvvaaaarrdddd: I forgot to mention earlier how funny it is when people say Harvard like that, all drawn out and with an English, upper-class accent. I think to myself, “wow, that’s funny, because the stereotype is that people who go there are white, rich, snobby people with aristocratic accents.” You see, that’s why I think it’s so funny, because you know, that’s funny, because it’s a stereotype. It’s also important to note that Harvard is in America, and a lot of people who do that use English accents. That’s funny, because it doesn’t make sense, and in a super nonsensically funny way! 4. I’m going to say that I’m a Native American on my application: God, that is rich. You see, because of affirmative action, and the terrible things that Americans have done to Native Americans, colleges tend to lend a huge advantage to those applicants of direct Native American descent. So you see, when you say you’re going to put this on your application, not only are you not actually going to do that, but you’re also making a hilarious joke about Native Americans! Haha, I love jokes about Native Americans, and lies, especially when they’re ultra-funny. “On my application, I’m going to say that my name is John “Running Bull” Smith. Hahaha, another stereotype!? If only I could be as funny as you. 5. In my interview, I’m going to do something really stupid: I’ll admit, I’m guilty of making this joke, and it was really funny when I did it, because it always is. “When I go into my interview, I’m going to wear a rice hat and speak in a French accent the whole time. When the guy asks me where my parents went to college, I’m going to say that my dad is actually Jesus and my mom is Queen Latifah, and that neither of them went to college because they’re too good for it, and it will be so funny.” Yeah, you’re right, that is really funny, not only because you’re actually going to do it, but also because no one has ever heard anything like this before. Jokes about college are the best guys, and that’s why you should have funny conversations about college as often as possible. So basically, what you should learn from this article is that college is hilarious. The next time I talk to you, you better be making really funny jokes about college, because otherwise I’ll find a group of people who are, and talk to them instead. On that note, I’m gonna go finish my college application, because it’s late, but not like it matters, because I’m not going to get into college anyway! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaahahahhahahahahahaaaaaaaahahahhahhhahahahaaahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha. Also, it’s important to note that I wrote this whole article naked.
