The Eighth Page

An Evening with Toine

The elite of Phillips Academy society flocked to the second floor of the Oliver Wendell Holmes Library last Friday night. Some came in high heels and long, flowing dresses, others in blazers, ties, and polished Italian loafers. Regardless of their wardrobe, each and every invitee had gained entry to the most exclusive party of the year: the opening of the Student Government archives. The Features Section, suave, worldly, socially-prominent sophisticates that we are, were in attendance, of course, and I, W. Christian Kensett Vareika, was fortunate enough to have a conversation with the man of the evening, the organizer of this most celebrated soirée, Anthony M. Reyes. The following interview was conducted at the party, as the cream of PA’s social crop mingled all around us. WCKV: What a fabulous group of beautiful people! The guests in attendance tonight are a veritable ‘who’s who’ of Phillips Academy society. How did you ever come up with such a gorgeous guest list? AR: I just thought of the people at Phillips Academy about whom I always think: the powerful, the influential, the bold, and the beautiful. Was an RSVP required? Well, I decided against it because it would be too complicated for certain people – the beautiful often lack the brains. Did anyone you invited not attend? Many chose not to attend; clearly, it was their loss. Did any uninvited persons attend? Of course. At an elite event such as this, you’re bound to get some riff-raff. Who would you say is the MBP (Most Beautiful Person) to attend? There are so many, it’s hard to choose! The whole Features Section, of course; Steve Sherrill, in his three-piece corduroy suit; Jenny Wong and Ali Schouten, elegant as ever; Pepsi-swilling Peter Nelson and his stunning date Katelyn. Who is Bobby Spang wearing? Annoying Orange – so hot right now. I spotted the grand dame of PA social activity weaving among the crowd tonight. Just how did you get Barbara Landis Chase to clear her busy schedule to make it here tonight? I gave invitations to her and Becky and Bobby, and of course they knew they had to be at the social event of the year. I’ve noticed some fab. Fashion statements tonight. Was there a dress code for this event? Yes. It was difficult for me to capture the dress code in just one word. ‘Casual,’ to me, means looking presentable, but some people took certain liberties with this loose dress code – riff-raff, of course. Who do you think is the most well dressed here tonight? Steve Sherrill. Who do you think is the worst dressed? Derrick Kuan. Who are you wearing? Ralph – of course. Need you even ask? I see Jasper Perkins strumming away at the guitar over there. What do you think of Jasper Perkins, as a human being? He’s quite odd, but that’s what I like about him. He is the typical artist: odd, eccentric, beautiful, talented. Do you find Jasper to possess a certain primitive appeal, as I do? Yes. I lived with him last year, and he’s a hairy dude. If you had to pick a Presidential candidate based solely on beauty, whom would you choose? Daniel Adler. Those pins are just amazing. So hot right now. The food was delish…who catered? Commons. They’re amazing. Yes…I was only disappointed not to see any mufaletta. I can’t please everybody. Those grape leave wraps were yummy. Did you try one? Yes, but I actually didn’t like them. I really liked the spinach and artichoke dip. Who is Peter Nelson wearing? Lacoste. Not quite Ralph, but what would you expect? Finally, last but not least, the most important question of the evening: would the Features Section have been invited to this soirée if we weren’t writing about it in the Phillipian? Absolutely not.