After seeking out hard-hitting news stories and arts exposes on the Andover campus for a year, we have developed a clairvoyant ability to see into the futures of Andover students’ lives. On the eve of our departure from The Phillipian, we look into our crystal ball to see what our CXXVI board-mates will be up to in 20 years. Valencia Valentine (nee Katie Folkman ’04) – After several arrests in college for disturbing the peace, Katie found herself all over the tabloids in her twenties, living the high life as a supermodel. Katie cites her experience in the 2002 West Quad North fashion show and the influence of her role model Claire Reyner ’03 as her inspiration for entering the modeling world. Katie is set to marry fellow print model and ex-manservant Peter Nelson ’05 in the fall. They will be moving to their new home in Manchvegas after the wedding. Jenny Wong ’04 – After fulfilling her fantasy of two-timing swash-buckling pirates, Jenny chose a quiet life of fake-baking and canoodling. She’s now using the skills she honed as managing editor of CXXVI to build nations, take a bite out of crime, and knit. (Yeah – we were never sure what a managing editor was supposed to do either). Jacqui Bovaird ’04, Fan Wang ’04 and McKee Floyd ’04 – The former photo crew has replaced Suzanne Somers, John Ritter, and some other biddy as the new cast of “Three’s Company.” The revised version of the show brings the cast to a small, one-bedroom apartment in Shanghai, where the non-Mandarin-speaking girls find themselves in a series of mishaps, only to be saved every week by level-headed Fan. “It’s better than Cats!” raves The New York Times. Rohit Acharya ’04 – Still MIA. Kristina Chang ’04 – Still MIA. Still chilling. Saidi Chen ’04 – Saidi went on a food run and mysteriously never came back. Alanna Hughes ’04 – Although she hoped for a future career as a world-traveling photojournalist, Alanna never seemed to find her way out of Andover, spending the first few years after Commencement driving boarding students in her beat-up station wagon. Alanna teamed with Peking Garden and self-proclaimed “King of the Day Students” Alex Vispoli ’04 to form a new on-campus taxi service. She is often spotted baking. Jasper Perkins ’04 and Jeremy Beecher ’04 – After spending all of their “hard-earned” cash on a spring break trip to Bermuda, the boys of T-House were unable to move out of their beloved dorm. Nor did they ever want to, really. Thompson House is now eerily reminiscent of the film Old School, as Jasper and Jeremy hold weekly wine-tastings and silent-movie galas in the common room. PAPS is not amused. JJ Feigenbaum ’04 – Inspired by his “Beard-Off” with Clem Wood ’04, JJ continued to grow his fine facial hair, finally donating it to Locks of Love. He is still bitter, finding himself alone eating lunch under the table. As for us, Olivia is pleased to announce the arrival of her three children from Taipei – Ming, Jung, and Mao. She still dreams of paint-balling one day. After an unpromising career as Chorus Member #3 in the Toronto production of “The Thoroughly Modern Millie,” Steve retreated to Germany, where he married the illustrious Eva Schnattinger and had a baby, whom he affectionately calls “Hamlet.” You may find yourself wondering, “Where in the world is Clem Wood ’04?” The former Editor-In-Chief never did leave the office of The Phillipian. He is currently living under the same couch christened by Stephen Zehring ’03 and loving it.