The Eighth Page

Features Top 10: Uses for New Iraq

10. Fall ’04 Search and Rescue: Desert Style 9. Survivor-esque reality show featuring Elizabeth Taylor and 14 eligible Arab bachelors 8. Because of SARS outbreak, SYA China is replaced by SYA Iraq 7. History 100 establishes annual Iraqi field trip, in which freshmen get first-hand look at sand 6. Spring Break ’05: the Iraqi Riviera 5. Storage location for President Bush’s collection of Happy Meal toys 4. Iraqi workshop on dehydration and dying slow, painful deaths added to curriculum 3. Senior Spring 2004 IP: Baghdad-to-Jaffa Camel Steeplechase 2. Fuess is demolished. Former residents move into Saddam’s palace 1. All faculty children profiled in the Features section will be allowed to use abandoned desert as sandbox/play area