Disclaimer: Everything in this article is true. I’d like to thank Julian and his mother for their cooperation. I would also like to say that his superior knowledge of superheroes has made me feel like less of a man, but there are no hard feelings. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the likes of a faculty child, besides of course, Taylor Washburn, my sadistic and cruel rowing captain, but I decided I’d jump back into the exciting world of on-campus childhood once again. Coming out of interview retirement, I was most strongly urged to interview faculty child extraordinaire Julian Pryde, a young and daring soul with a strong affinity for action heroes. It has been said that back in his heyday he used to consistently wear a Batman cape around campus, and I had to find out more. After arranging the interview, I met him in Commons on a sunny Tuesday afternoon. The conversation we had went as follows: Anthony Green: How old are you? Julian Pryde: I’ll be eight in two weeks. A.G.: I hear that you used to be a big fan of Batman. Is that true? J.P.:Well I used to be, but now I like Spiderman. I like to make up superheroes even more. A.G.: What superheroes have you made up? J.P.: Well, my favorite is Saber-Tooth-Tiger-Man. A.G.: He sounds pretty impressive. But back to Batman: did you have a sidekick while you were Batman? J.P.: Well, I did, but he was kind of imaginary. This was obviously a man who knew his stuff when it came to superheroes. I did my fare share of comic book reading when I was a kid, but it was nothing compared to what he must have done. I had to think of a question that might stump him. He was coming up with answers too fast, and I needed something to slow him down. Then I came up with the perfect inquiry: A.G.: What do you think you owe to the upstanding citizens of Gotham City? J.P.: I owe them protection from all that is evil. Egad! He was a little out of my league when it came to action heroes, and I thought that I might give it a rest so that I could recuperate. I was humiliated by my lack of knowledge and I was getting nervous as Julian looked over his shoulder for signs of Penguin and the Joker descending on the scene. A.G.: What do you think of the girls in Nathan Hale? J.P.: I like them. They’re all nice. A.G.: Do you have a girlfriend? J.P.: Well, not really. After this there was a long silence. Obviously, he was eager to get back to his forte, and I had one more piece of ammunition that might be able to combat his comic brilliance. A.G.: If you could go out on a date with Bat-Girl or Cat-Woman, which one would you chose? Obviously he had to think a little about this one, as I would, too. Eventually, however, he came to his conclusion. J.P.: Bat-Girl. A.G.: Why so? J.P.: She’s better looking. So there you have it. This young man has been exposed to the Andover community as one of the more knowledgeable Batman authorities around today. Although he didn’t go so far as to say that he was Batman, I think that we all know the truth. Julian is a good man and will do PA’s Class of ’13 good. Hopefully, Julian – if “Julian” and not, say, “BRUCE WAYNE!!” is your real name– our paths will cross again.
