How did the budget cuts affect us? I think the real question we should be asking is how the budget cuts affected you, the student. Let’s see what some people had to say: Nate Scott ’05 said he can no longer find his toothpaste. That’s ironic: I wouldn’t have guessed that he would lose his toothpaste. Nate’s a day student, so the school would not be taking his toothpaste. Nice try, Nate. Hmmmm. How many times can I say “Nate” in one paragraph? Now that we have talked about the budget cuts, let’s talk about Lee Rotenberg ’05. Never mind, let’s get back to the budget. I mean, why should we be complaining – we get $200,000 more a year. Think of all that we can do with that. That is $200 per person. What would you do with $200 extra? For example, I would get all my money in $1 bills and then still probably not have enough to swim in. And then I would cry. Sarah would go on a $200 CVS shopping spree (think of all the things you can get for $200!). There is, of course, one problem that the budget cuts pose. It is the problem of hygiene. Last week, the school cut off the shower water for three boys’ dorms. The Academy decided that those dorms were the cleanest dorms on campus and therefore were the least in need of showering capabilities. However, they were wrong. They measured the cleanliness of the dorms by the cleanliness of their laundry rooms. Maybe they were so clean because they have never been used. Smart, eh? Anyways, that was kind of a bad thing because the boys smelled quite a lot, but soon it was over and all the money we saved. What we really need to do is think of all we can do with that money. I kind of wanted a scooter. I wonder if I could get one of those. If only we had voted Meade Curtis ’04 into the next round of Presidential elections, we could have gotten luxury student golf carts, decked them out, and we’d be bling blingin’ (Sorry, Anthony Reyes, we hope that doesn’t make you go into hysterics and break another computer – What was that kid thinking?!?!?!?). Or if that doesn’t work out, we could have gotten a bunch of tennis balls, or if that plan didn’t work out, gold statues with our names plated in platinum on the back: “Lizzy and Sarah ‘Look what we got with the money we saved!!!’ Maxwell and Chang.” Hmm. Maybe. I like that one. Another problem is the girls’ bathrooms. With the budget cuts, we couldn’t keep paying the people who clean them up, so they will turn into foul swamplands. I think it would be disgusting, but Sarah thinks it’d be glorious. Glooooorrrrrious. People really underestimate what a great word “glorious” is. Anyway, another problem is Duncan Dwyer ’03. I don’t know if he was affected by the budget cuts or not, but either way he’s a problem, a huge one!! Watch out!!! Budget cuts or no budget cuts, we think Andover will always be a glorious place with only the few minor problems that running out of bling can bring.
