The Eighth Page

Winter Term Quiz, Part II

Here is Part II of the Winter Term Quiz by Jessica Schuster ’05, made in order to determine the degree to which the cold and the snow have numbed your thinking. 1.) You open your eyes one morning and see white. No, you’re not dreaming – but there are snowflakes the size of golf balls coming down outside like there’s no tomorrow. What are the chances of a snow day? a.) 2.5% b.) 35% c.) 50 cent – Wanksta 2.) Classes are over but you’ve got a raging headache, chorus practice, and an estimated three hours of sleep tonight. Basketball practice just isn’t looking so hot right now. How do you get out of it? a.) Call your parents, and tell them to inform the school that you’ll be out of commission for a week or so. Besides, what’s more fun than lying? b.) Go to the trainer and whine that your leg hurts: “Mr. Cox, can I just lie down for a little bit and stare at your incipient goatee?” c.) Skip practice altogether, and when your coach asks the next day, gasp, “What? We had practice yesterday? I could’ve sworn I got a voice mail saying it was cancelled…oh wait, that was my imagination.” 3.) Uh-oh. Your best friend comes up to you, bright-eyed and eager-looking. Yes, it’s her birthday, and you’ve completely forgotten about it. When she asks if she has any gifts, how do you answer? a.) Smoothly pull out a Ryley Room “25 cent discount, with purchase of fried dough” gift certificate from your pocket – you always keep a stash for occasions like these. b.) Panic, but recover quickly and say,