All Star Games Provide No Fun

Could the All-Stars get any worse? Honestly, could they? I mentioned it briefly last week, but I just cannot get over how bad All-Star games have become. Ever since the 7-7 tie in last year’s baseball All-Star Game, it seems as if the midseason classics have been cursed. Sheesh, when I was younger, the NBA All-Star Game was one of my yearly highlights as a sports fan. The Slam Dunk Competition, the 3-Point Contest, the actual game…nothing could top this trifecta. However, when I saw what the All-Star Game and its festivities had turned into, I almost wanted to cry. The theme of that Saturday night was retro. The festivities started “with a bang” with Gloria Gaynor singing “I Will Survive.” The Atlanta crowd was about as enthused as Homer Simpson would be when on a diet. The skills competition followed the stirring rendition of “I Will Survive.” To be honest, it was about as exciting to watch as an XFL game. It got worse. The next event was a half-court game between current and former NBA players, WNBA players and other random celebrities. On one team it would be like Magic Johnson, some crappy pro player no one’s ever heard of, and that kid from “Malcolm in the Middle.” The worst part of this event was watching the old legends who could barely play anymore. I decided not to watch the 3-Point Competition simply because Antoine Walker was a participant. After Larry Bird retired, the event has just lost its prestige. The slam dunk contest, on the other hand, was actually pretty good. Jason Richardson won with an absolutely breathtaking 180º between-the-legs dunk that scored him a perfect 50 points en route to taking his second straight title. The actual game was a collection of showboating and poor shots with little substance. This was not the only game for which disappointment ran high. The NFL game is, and has always been, terrible with watered-down play plaguing the contest. The baseball game has been ruined because of last year’s catastrophe (although this year it will play a role in which league will have home field advantage in the World Series). The lousy All Star Game did not entirely ruin my week. Tomorrow night psychopathic boxer Mike Tyson will fight Clifford Etienne in Memphis, Tennessee. A Mike Tyson fight wouldn’t be a Mike Tyson fight if something bizarre didn’t come into effect and this bout is no different. Late last week it was announced that Tyson had just gotten a new tattoo…on his face. The ridiculous-looking tattoo was just the start of it as Tyson went on to cancel the fight, then un-cancel it. This fight is on and off more than Marshall and Kim Mathers’ relationship. I’ll place the odds of the fight taking place as scheduled at 60-40. This is a belated “Congratulations” to the UConn women’s hoops team as they own a record of 24-0 (as of Wednesday) and have won 63 straight games. What I’m wondering is why, as of a couple weeks ago, the Huskies were ranked behind the Duke University Blue Devils for most of the season despite coming off a National Championship in an undefeated season. When UConn rolled over the Dukies earlier this month they finally got the respect they deserved and were ranked #1. With the way the team has been playing as of late, I would doubt that the Huskies will relinquish that ranking any time soon. This is also probably the last time I will mention women’s college basketball in one of these columns so relish it while you can. That is unless they decide to throw an all-star game of their own.