The Eighth Page

Top 10 Ways to Spice Up the Blue and Silver

10. Spike the strawberry punch…with cherry Kool-Aid. They’ll never notice. 9. Switch dates for a song, then refuse to switch back because your date is uglier. 8. Wear a tuxedo t-shirt. It puts the semi in semi-formal. 7. Willingly take a breathalyzer test and continue to insist that you’re drunk to look cool, even after the test comes out negative. 6. Stand next to the speakers and heckle the DJ until he cries. 5. Start grinding with a chaperone. Maybe they’ll start allowing it once they find out how fun it is. 4. Take a blow-up doll to the dance. Dress it up nice, though. Remember: it’s a semi-formal. 3. Ask a commons worker to slow dance, and give them a lil sugar on the side 2. Take the dance hostage and re-create the film Speed with Mr. D’s new hotness (golf cart). 1. Point at the silly freshmen with their dates…then realize that you don’t have one.