The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: 2023 New Years Resolutions: Growth and Accountability

Do not reclass for a third time
Make one of the Deans my sugar daddy
Stop feeding Pop Rocks to the fish in Gelb
Restrain myself from giving seducing looks to my Physics teacher
Get a boob job, then become a feminist
Stop eating the books in silent
Stop talking shit about people (excluding my math teacher, history teacher, house counselor, coach, psychiatrist, Bobby, Keith, Sandra, Roberta, Elyse …)