The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Week’s Top Headlines

Boys Varsity Captains Not Wearing Masks Since They’re Already Living in Them

Creamy Potato Salad on Wednesday Becomes Creamy Potato Salad Sandwich on Thursday

Thought The Phillipian Would’ve Given Up by This Point? Yeah, Us Too

Dr. Patel Forced to Explain “How to Tell Your Friends You’re Covid Positive” in YouTube Recommended

Brain Surgery Less Complicated Than This Year’s Schedule, Says Ben Carson

Random Couple from Town of Andover Gets Married in Graves Tent, Phillipian Correspondent Says Flower Arrangements Were a Bit Tacky

Football PGs Take Advantage of Unused Practice Time, Finally Learn How to Read!