The Eighth Page

Top Ten: Ways To Rig an Election

  1. Get a 2400 to impress the Electoral College Board.

  2. Promise a follow back on Insta to everyone who tosses you the vote.

  3. Come straight from the Vice Presidency.

  4. Ca$h money.

  5. Tell Chuck Bass to stuff the ballot boxes with votes for you.

  6. Change your name to something more catchy and memorable. Implausible examples include John Johnson and Chris Christie.

  7. Hire Olivia Pope and Associates.

  8. Give your adversaries a strand of the Andover plague.

  9. Claim you are of
    all social classes.

  10. Get Features to roast your opponents.