The Eighth Page

Fowler ’10 Expelled for not Understanding the DC System

This week, the Andover community said goodbye to one of its favorite freshmen. Terrance Folwer ’10 was expelled Thursday evening after his DC hearing. “It’s just a shock,” said a Lower. “Terrance and I were close. He loved Andover. I guess his big mistake was not loving Andover enough to really understand the D.C. system.” Fowler’s DC followed rumors that he “didn’t get” the DC system and had only “heard about it from friends.” After a room search and nearly two hours of deliberation, the D.C. ruled that Fowler was to be expelled. Fowler’s Biology 100 teacher offered his reaction to the expulsion: “Am I surprised? No. Terrance didn’t know much about anything here at Andover. He thought E&R was a law firm. He thought the Cage was where the Academy housed its monkeys. For him to understand something as complicated as the DC system is ridiculous.” Outside of Fowler’s hearing Thursday evening, students held signs of support that encouraged the committee to “speak slowly” and “explain everything” to Fowler. “When I talked to Terrance before the hearing,” a freshman girl said, “he thought he was going to Washington.” It seems that Fowler’s inexperience and misinterpretations of the DC system led him to believe he was going on a trip to the nation’s capital. In the spirit of the Founding Fathers, Fowler arrived at his hearing wearing leather-buckled boots, high white stockings and a long wool coat. “My bifocals are authentic,” Fowler yelled as he was led into the DC hearing. It was clear that he was unaware of what was about to occur. The final ruling revealed that Fowler’s expulsion was the result of “extreme ignorance.” According to an official transcript of the hearing, when asked what the Blue Book was, Fowler answered, “A book that held its breath too long.” From his home in Andover, Fowler encouraged the community to stay in touch and to visit his Facebook account.